Top 10 tips for alienating your fans

[shrimp riddle]

1. Always ensure the away team looks like the home team. This is essential and keeps the home fans quiet.
2. Make sure the ground does not include a bar/ café where standing fans can go at half time.
3. When you sign young players from the youth set up make sure they get a maximum of 30 minutes football in the year.
4. When you sell the club make sure the new owner has no intentions of changing anything.
5. Make sure the team hoofs the ball up the pitch rather than passing it on the ground- even if the forward is surrounded by three six foot six defenders.
6. Make sure the players are always second to the loose ball, and when bringing on substitutes leave it late on, or make sure you are 2 down so they cant win the game for you.
7. If you are the manager and you lose make sure you never blame your self.
8. Make sure the manager has no money and ensure he signs players who cant get in another league 2 team.
9. Always ensure you are knocked out of the FA cup in the first round.
10 Always make sure you get rid of your best players at the end of the season and ensure there are no leaders in the team who can change a game around

[KenH]

11. Continue to leave your favourite players on the pitch when they're having a bad game (Kev, Flemmo)

[BerlinWaller]

12. Befriend a select group of fans who then tell the rest of us mugs that it isn't that bad and we have never had it so good whilst handing over our hard earned week in week out.

[Kendalshrimp]

13. When you lose say you need to find that fine diving line in your post match interview

[seasonsinthesun]

14.Always look like you're in control whatever the result of the last match by regularly saying "never get too high, never get too low".

[fulwoodshrimp]

15. Sign loan players from the Premiership and then make sure you don't give them a chance by giving them a few minutes on the pitch.

[glagys]

16. When making substitutes make them like for like e.g..left back for left back midfielder for midfielder instead of trying to change the formation/game plan

[halftimeresults]

17. (One pointed out buy a lad at work yesterday) charge £6 for a CAN of bitter and a tiny hot dog from a 50 p tin of 6

[KenH]

18. On the fan's open day (aimed at kids) don't have any hot-dogs available for them to buy.

[outsider]

19 Remove any signs of it being a football clubs bar, put price's up, then wonder why people don't use it. Or go elsewhere pre game.

[Gone_Shrimping]

20 When you get a penalty 4 minutes from the end that may get you back into the match DONT let some who scored a penalty on the previous Tuesday or your captain who has a fantastic record of taking penalties take it !

[RedRedWine]

21). Make sure your manager shouts Sunday league instructions to professional footballers and gives them no further tactical input from the sideline whilst the game is progressing. 'Seconds' (win the second ball) and 'Recover' (the tactical formation that I put together is getting ripped to shreds but I'm not changing it so run around aimlessly a bit more) should form the basis of your vocabulary for 90 minutes.

[morecambe boy]

Build them a stand that is the envy of non league/ lower league fans, and them replace it with a scratting shed!

[jon MFC fan]

20 this was under the regime if the new regime has time they can change it as there young and eager to please the fanbase and no I'm not sticking up of no one and also forwards always

[Kendalshrimp]

23. Keep conceding silly goals every week then say in our interview after it it's been out Achilles heel for sometime now then let it happen again next game n say the same thing !

[seasonsinthesun]

22.When building a new ground, always make sure that a certain number of seats have restricted viewing, so that not everybody watching the team's performance will think it's as bad as it really is.

[halfwayprawn]

23.Not letting little kids come and kneel down infront of c2 to watch the penalty being taken and sending them back as it is being taken, for gods sake we are supposed to be a family club.

[Seasider9601]

17 (part b): Definitely reduce the prices of the pathetic attempt at a hot dog. I've heard numerous mumbles and grumbles this season from purchasers of said item. There was even something on Twitter about their rip off value by a disgruntled Portsmouth fan.

[P/T Indie]

[quote="outsider"]19 Remove any signs of it being a football clubs bar, put price's up, then wonder why people don't use it. Or go elsewhere pre game.[/quote

19b then a couple of years later when director who owns a brewery/ beer wholesalers leaves finally reduce prices but by this time every has their set pre match routine and loyalty to other establishments in the area so it's to late to make a difference.

[Moose]

The worst part? Nobody appears to listen or give a shit. These aren't new moans or gripes. Pretty much everyone I have spoken to regarding the new place has at least one complaint (prices of drinks/food are well up there). Yes, it's a business, but it's finally starting to bite them on the bum by people/loyal fans giving up and going elsewhere. It wouldn't take a lot (taking the quality of football out of the equation), reduce the bar prices and re-vamp the bar - its bloody awful - depressing! No atmosphere or life to it. The fact the location is now out of town is a pisser, but not something anyone can help. If it was a more appealing, friendly, fun place to drink before and after, then it's so far away from anywhere else, people would stop afterwards, myself included. Instead, D&P £1.80 a pint.... or a massive jump up to £2 if there's no football on... Point made I think. I've voiced my crappy moans about the Berlin Wall being of a worse standard than the Carwash many times on here, so no need to go there. (Not much that can be done about that suppose)... I just don't come any more, full stop.
Unfortunately, for many different reasons, seems I am not alone.

[Moose]

(putting football back into the equation) I don't believe it is all down to money that we have to endure such crap. (I say we, but as it would be hypocritical of me to say 'we endure', I say it coming from a Morecambe fan...). I witnessed enough last season and a couple this seasons before I finally spit my dummy out and thought enough is enough. We played a fantastic game against Bournemouth, which I personally witnessed... so why does it go so very wrong against teams we should really be beating? That has got to be down to management and tactics full stop. As I stated after we lost to Bournemouth, if we played like that and lost every week it would be entertaining! - and everyone who witnessed that game would want to return if they were true fans... but no, all change, back to last season, clueless hoofs, pointless substitutions, no touchline enthusiasm... = shite management full stop and never admits he was wrong. Fed up of hearing the small club, no money, batting above our weight crap, we can play better and we have!!! Players do have a lot to answer for, but please, Jim has a team of players and appears to be doing no better than Tom, Dick or Harry, or anyone on here at picking them to play or even substituting them. We could have a vote on here as to the team and who plays and probably wouldn't do any worse at home - I challenge anyone to disagree with that.

[Gone_Shrimping]

(putting football back into the equation) I don't believe it is all down to money that we have to endure such crap. (I say we, but as it would be hypocritical of me to say 'we endure', I say it coming from a Morecambe fan...). I witnessed enough last season and a couple this seasons before I finally spit my dummy out and thought enough is enough. We played a fantastic game against Bournemouth, which I personally witnessed... so why does it go so very wrong against teams we should really be beating? That has got to be down to management and tactics full stop. As I stated after we lost to Bournemouth, if we played like that and lost every week it would be entertaining! - and everyone who witnessed that game would want to return if they were true fans... but no, all change, back to last season, clueless hoofs, pointless substitutions, no touchline enthusiasm... = shite management full stop and never admits he was wrong. Fed up of hearing the small club, no money, batting above our weight crap, we can play better and we have!!! Players do have a lot to answer for, but please, Jim has a team of players and appears to be doing no better than Tom, Dick or Harry, or anyone on here at picking them to play or even substituting them. We could have vote on here as to the team and who plays and probably wouldn't do any worse at home - I challenge anyone to disagree with that.

What would have to happen down at The Globe to get you back as an attending fan Moose ?

I would think there are many like you so I am sure the powers that be that we know read this forum would be interested and may make happen now that there is a chance of money being available.

[slackAlice2]

I place myself in the already alienated camp. I went to the Blackpool game and enjoyed myself. I just don't like the place , never did if I'm honest, and there's no way I'd be spending my Saturday afternoons freezing my nuts off watching poor quality football at the Globe now. I just wasn't enjoying anything about the match day experience anymore. I've now got a list of things I prefer doing with the family. If anything I can't believe how long I kept going and moaning about it ! It became a habit and you wonder what you'll do with your Saturday afternoons, but it's opened up all sorts of things for me. There is life after football ! !

[P/T Indie]

And there is the problem cos the club did nothing for such a long period of time people have found other things to do so they will never get them back. IF they had acted quickly say withon a season or two people would have returned but it's to late now.

[g66k69]

Totally agree with the last two posts. There used to be 5 or 6 who went regular, both at Christie and The Globe, i've only been to one game since Orient last season ( Blackpool ), the others only a few more. Now none of us go anymore, i feel as though i should but why should i and others waste their money, you can't expect to win every game, but the least you should expect is some effort! Again as previous have said, they can play it, but must be told not to, it's not rocket science why people don't go anymore, it's just a shame that those who can change it either can't or won't.