reflux, gas. heartburn, norberts,no,no, and no as I quote the great Cole Porter in Kiss me Kate, 'It's Too Darn Hot'.
The mercury is rising, its 20C and 94% humidity and its 1.34am thank you very fucking much, on its way to 36C tomorrow and a total fireban and bushfire warning.
Isn't it about time we had a whoosh smilie.
Saw Brian McFaddon this morning, filming outside the studios, I was going to charge them $50 cash (She who must overspent this week and I'm borassic) but he came and said hello just as this group of women who work there came around the corner, can't wait till I 'accidently' bump in to them at Glorias., ooh you know Brian McFaddon , yeh, says our shy hero, he comes from Belfast which is really close to where I'm from, intimating we've been mates for years and not just since the wedding a month ago. Leads into and Delta practically lives here when she's in town, gotta go Rusty's asked me to do something with Souths next year and I've got to call him. O.K translated means, Delta occasionally rehearses at the studio if she's getting ready for a gig, and the marketing person at Souths has called me asking for help, mind Rusty does own Souths.
I saw a small black spider today, 1st one I've seen for ages, I of course being the boss ordered my secretary to lift it and put it outside, when she went close to it, it jumped on her, she nearly shat, so did I laughing at her. I then captured it in my bare hands and took it outside, 'That could have been a funnel web' she said, I'll funnel web it says I to adoring looks and reconfirming my butchness and all round good chappyness.
Now my darlings a little tip from Uncle Aspers, when living in a country which has dangerous snakes,insects crocs, sharks, Big Red Roo's and other things that can hurt or kill you make like a boy scout and be prepared.
What I mean is buy books about insects and snakes so you can identify them, learn about how not to piss sharks, crocs and roos off, so my episode with the spider this morning although terrifying to the unknowing was me, picking up a harmless money spider and taking it outside, you see money spiders and funnell webs look very similar but a funnel will hop if you get near it and jump on you, a money spider won't, it's all about knowledge loves knowledge.
Why I'm awake is I had my balcony doors open, and a mozzie bit my ankle, won't get back to sleep now until about 3 and I'll be ratshit tomorrow. Mosquitos, WTF can someone please tell me what they are for, eating something or other besides me I'm sure. Ah well God knows what he's doing I guess, talking of God, poor Sammy's getting some stick, not his fault, he's not playing, I saw Man U this morning kick off against West ham.
I was amazed at the beautiful football they played for the 1st 20 mins, it was Brasillianesque in its beauty and fluidity, I'm glad I support Man U and not some 4th division outfit like Accrington or Morecombe.
I bet theres a whoosh smilie somewhere.
The Scottish rugby league team went to my daughters school today, she said Dad none of them talked like 'Poppa', I think you get special dispensation for the World cup of Rugby League, If you've shagged a scottish person you can play for them and it won't harm your chance of playing for Australia.
Only New Zealand. England and France have a team made up of their own countrymen, sorry maybe Fiji and PNG. PNG stoopid name for a country, sounds like a juice.
I see the global credit crunch has made people bankrupt, may I say something to all the financial gurus out there, do nowt, leave your shares alone, they'll be back up within 6 months and even stronger.
A few years ago when Gold was about $350.00 the Australian Government dumped all its Gold, it dropped the price to about $310,00 then they bought it all back at the reduced price, they got told off for that by the IMF.
Its raining now and the temp is up to 21C humidity still at 94%. Lightning and thunder soon I bet, I blame Osama Bin Liner, still haven't caught him have they, why because he was trained by the SAS to hide and fight. If you don't believe me ask Andy McNab. I'm sure he wrote about it in 7 troop.
My hobby is the Australian SAS... Sheilas and Snags (sausages) chuck a snag on the Barbie grab a cold one and a sheila, great hobby.
I haven't got any beer in the fridge, why?, visitors, not the publication put out to Morecambites each Wednesday but in laws who drink all your cold beer, here I am I swelterng through the hottest night of the season so far and all I've got in the fridge is water, I mean Water, don't fish fuck in that?, anyroads glad the fish are getting some.
I went and bought Horlicks for my kids the other day, I saw it in the supermarket and it brought back memories of my grandpa back in the 60's, used to love his horlicks did Bill. Bought some, made a special treat for the family, they hated it, ungrateful little etc.etc. Their footprints will be club penguin msn or myspace mine were half moon bay, horlicks, I even used to write letters, talking of letter writing, the missus was goin through her old letters from me the other day, Romantic in those days was I, now its 'you awake, doesn't matter lie still for a minute'.
Ah well luvvies don't do anything I wouldn't do
(Stifles yawn, gets glass of cold water from fridge. and climbs stairs)
Night John Boy.
