We can't score but we'll open the door
It nicely fits the bill, as we lose 1-0.
When we score one it's not over and done
We'll make it easy for you and let you score two.
When we go ahead by a clear two goals
You don't have to worry, we'll leave plenty of holes,
You can use the wind to your advantage, it's just not meant to be,
And then we'll be more than happy to let you score three (or four - reference F.A.Cup)
It's happy days again as we get three
We're spraying it around, it's wonderful to see,
But the good news for you is we're really pretty poor,
You'll have no problem in scoring four.
We think we're doing well when we score four
And then we'll press forward looking for more,
But we'll keep your play off dreams alive
Cause in the second half we'll concede five.
Now we're really buzzing and in the next match we score five,
But out of our box of tricks, you will score a magical six.
It's quite incredible to watch, you might think it's a fix,
A hat-trick for Miller and we go on to get six,
But it's not over yet cause when you score seven
You'll really be in football heaven.
And with Devitt's assists we'll score seven
But whether you come from Cumbria or Devon
You'll receive a warm welcome and your day here will be great
Cause by the end of the game you will have scored eight
