My Jewish friend told me a joke O/T

[Aspers]

Moses was up Mount Ararat or wherever, God appeared and said "Moses I have a commandment for you" Moses said Commandment Shammandment, how much will it cost me?"
God says " Nothing Moses, the commandment is free!"

Moses said " Free!! I'll take 10".

Im sure its very old but I

[Gone_Shrimping]

A Catholic boy , a Protestant boy and a Jewish boy are talking about Christmas and what they did over the holiday.

The Catholic boy says I went to Mass with my family and then we went home and opened presents.

The Protestant boy says I also went to Church with my family then we went home and opened presents.

The Jewish boy says I went with my Father to his Toy Factory and looked at all the empty shelves and then we sang "What a friend we have in Jesus" !

[Posh]

Jewish grandmother and her grandson, the light of her life, sat together happily playing on the beach when a freak wave slams down washing the child out to sea.

Grandmother is utterly distraught, tears pouring from her eyes and wanders down to the sea edge, looks up to the heavens and says, "God, I've worshipped you all my life, never asked for anything in return but now in my time of need I pray to you to please, please return my grandson."

She wanders back up the beach, sits down and then another big wave comes in and dumps the grandson down next to her, with not a scratch on him and laughing and smiling.

She wanders back down to the sea, looks up to her God and says:

"He was wearing a hat!"

[shrimperteer]

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her as an alter boy.

[Keith]

80yr old bloke goes in to confessional. He says "Father, last night I was in the bar and I met an eighteen year old woman. She was gorgeous with lovely breasts. She came home with me and we had sex in every way possible. And that was just in the kitchen! We made love all night, then she made me breakfast before she left".

The priest said "sex out of marriage is a sin, say three Hail Mary's".
The guy said "Oh, I'm not Catholic, I'm Jewish"
Priest replies "well why are you telling me then?"
The guy says, "Oh, I'm telling EVERYBODY!"

[shrimpnsave]

Would that be Bernie Ecclestone