Radio Stoke

[thedoc]

I wrote an article called In Crewe, What Do You Do? after witnessing the catastrophe at Gresty Road a week ago. It was published by D3D4 Football last Tuesday:

http://d3d4football.com/in-crewe-what-d ... er-fitton/

On Wednesday, the site was contacted by The Town Clerk of Crewe Council asking to talk to me about it. The Town Clerk, Steve, turns out -irony of ironies – to have actually been born In Morecambe and grew-up in Carnforth where his dad Arthur is a long-term ‘season ticket holder at the Globe Arena. He had read my article and took it as it was meant – a light-hearted observation of Crewe made by a stranger to the place: a view, he assured me, which was shared by his fellow members of the Labour Council which runs the place. If you read the article, you will see a piece appended to it by the Mayor, Brian Roberts, which confirms this.

But by Thursday, BBC Radio Stoke had also got wind of the story. They recorded an interview with me in which I said “I want to make it clear that I’m not Boris Johnson. If people have taken offence about what I’ve written, I’m sorry – it wasn’t my intention to insult anyone.” When asked about my own background as a writer, I mentioned that I used to write comic scripts for Whizzer & Chips and Buster comics, including strips their listeners might be familiar with such as The Bumpkin Billionaires; Tarman of the Jungle and – the one I am particularly proud of Watford Gapp the King of the Rap: this one was in verse and the kids loved it. But they didn’t broadcast any of this, presumably because it doesn’t chime with their portrayal of Yours Truly as an ignorant oik from Morecambe with no sense of humour.

I sat through the dreary three hours of their Morning Show yesterday morning, understanding – as I do every time I hear the usual output of their sister station Radio Lankyshite up here - why so many Southerners think we’re all thick Oop North. Who can say `Woohoo’ the loudest? - like two pretty stupid kids in a playground somewhere. Seriously. As Dizzy Blonde female presenter admits to having reversed her car into a skip on more than one occasion – but that’s what women do, isn’t it girls? Oh – and women need a Man – like the Alpha Male co-presenter – to explain to them how to do Fantasy Football – because football isn’t for dizzy blondes, is it ladies? All this peppered with the false bonhomie which the BBC - in its infinite wisdom - things the Lower Orders like you and me want to hear first thing in the morning to brighten up our completely empty lives. Nation Shall Speak Unto Nation? More like Nation Shall Speak Drivel Unto the Nation, I fear. So I was already losing the will to live when they started playing music from 1971. I’m old enough to remember this year and in my memory, Jimi Hendrix; Deep Purple; The Faces; Jethro Tull; The Who and the Kinks all immediately spring to mind. But they didn’t play a single track from any of these bands – why bother when you can play `Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep” by Middle of the Road instead?

Steve the Town Clerk has been kind enough to send me an audio file with the whole show on it.
It you want to listen to the relevant bits of what was supposed to be the lead story on the programme, start at about 25.01 and listen to 31.06. Then 39.09 to 41.08. This will give you a flavour of the `discussion’:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06dkdwk

I suspect the whole idea backfired on the production team. Instead of being flooded with outraged calls from Crewe residents defending the attack on their town by a Morecambe fan throwing his toys out of the pram and ranting about the place because the Mighty Railwaymen had just demolished his pathetic team from Lancashire, they received a stream of tweets and calls from people elsewhere in the Potteries and further afield saying far more dire things about the town than I – as an outsider – would dare to do. So they dropped it quietly during the second hour of the programme.

I’ll leave the final word to someone else caught-up in this saga:

“Yeah I tuned in but I soon realised what they were angling for with the piece and didn't listen for more than 5 minutes. Typical BBC trying to create controversial entertainment but they wouldn't know what entertainment is if it hit them in the backside.

If you look at nearly all their recent tv programming and even radio shows they have clearly started dumbing down which is a shame considering they once were the home of Only Fools & Horses, Fawlty Towers and many other classic shows. But there you go at least the licence fee is in good hands.”

Enjoy the broadcast...

[paschahound]

What a fabulous article. I really enjoyed reading such a well-written, humorous, though sad, piece.
The reply from the Councillor is terrible though, with so many spelling and punctuation errors. It's not surprising Crewe is in such an unfortunate state when local Councillors can't even write a reply in reasonably accurate English.